"Est-ce qu'on va faire un jeu?"

I’ve been back in France about a month now, and things are pretty much the same. Work, sleep, watch tv….that’s the life.

Work is still getting better every week, as I am beginning to get the hang of organizing lesson plans and how to cater to each grade. I feel my lessons are more successful and the kids are getting more out of them. I’ve learned that flash cards are key, and Simon Says makes me a God.

I’m still having trouble with discipline, however. Teachers aren’t supposed to leave me alone in the classroom while I teach, but I have two classes where the kids are out of control… one where 1 teacher always leaves (CE2, the youngest I have) and a CM2 (5th grade) where the teacher sits in the back and barely chimes in when the kids are causing mayhem, throwing paper airplanes and hitting each other rulers. I know I should have started disciplining from the very beginning, but I didn’t know how first of all, and second of all that’s always been my weakest attribute in leadership roles. Being assertive is so hard for me. I shout “LISTEN” and other such exlamations, I threaten to get the teacher, but nothing works. Some of the kids tell me they have headaches,, they tell on each other….I just end up getting so frustrated and impatient that I dread teaching this class and don’t always get what I want accomplished. The thing is, I know the kids love me still because they get soo excited for English every week and they always get sad when class is over. They’re just young and I didn’t give them boundaries at the beginning.

I constantly having to explain things over and over again, when I explained it clearly the first time. “J’ai pas compris” and “j’arrive pas”…”I don’t understand” and “I can’t do it” are probably the most used phrases in my classes. One time, we went around the class asking the question, “do you like to….dance/sing/eat…etc. I had the question, verb obtions, and each possible response written on the board. Some kids started and did fine, and at least 7 kids just stared at me. Do I need to wipe your asses too kids? I try to be patient, really, but there are times when I just want these kids to stop being stupid. (Note: that was like 92.6 sarcasm)

Not to mention, now that I have generously played hangman, jeopardy, and Simon Says with each class, I constantly get asked to play games. “ESt-ce qu’on va faire un jeu maitresse?” I mean the kids literally will walk up to me while I’m teaching a lesson to ask if we can play a game. I always think, is this really happening? Did you really just walk up to me in the middle of this because you want to play Simon Says? Fortunately the games we play are useful and the kids do learn, but I feel like I’m being used for Simon Says. I want to be respected for who I am dammit. I give and I give and I give only to be used for my awesome game skills. To be fair, I had a great time today playing the number game (I have 2 kids from each side of the class come up to the board and I say a number. They have to write it correctly, and the first to do so wins a point. You’d think it was Christmas they get so excited). When the kids behave and I feel like my lesson was a success, I really don’t mind my job.

Par contre, I think I’m just getting frustrated at the lack of experience I have and the lack of preparation I was given. I’m trying my best to make these kids learn, but I don’t know if I’m being effective. I know this kind of thing just takes time and experience, but I think my teaching would be more worthwhile (for me and the kids) if I knew better how to prepare lessons and how to teach English. I think I would be more inclined to go to work if I first was passionate about what I was doing, but also if I was more confident.

I went to Paris last weekend with my friends, and though it was short we got a crap load accomplished. This was my second time in Paris so I did some of the touristy things again, but fortunately we had a detailed, well-planned itinerary so we were able to fit in a lot of things each day. I think the coolest thing we saw were the Catacombs, which was a long underground tunnel filled with neatly stacked bones and skulls. I think the freezing weather put a slight damper on things and for some reason my body always feels like it’s in a refrigerator, so I wasn’t as keen on walking around the city, which is sad because usually wandering around cities is my favorite thing to do. I tried this when everyone went into the Louvre (once was enough for me…call me uncultured but I really could care less about seeing art museums), so I got all excited to walk around the Latin Quarter on my own. This was nice for about 30 minutes, until the downpour started. One of my best life moments was when we walked to the top of Montmartre to the Sacre Coeur (a lot of steep steps) and we discovered a metro in the form of a pod to take us slowly down to the level ground. Everyone went out that night to drink wine by the Seine and I lamely stayed in bed like an old lady, took my Benadryl, and went to sleep. Who says I don’t know how to party?

I woke up the next morning to discover that mice had infiltrated my backpack to eat my precious gluten free snacks. I mean knowing me I probably didn’t close my backpack all the way, but considering we were staying in one of the top rated hostels in France, I wasn’t really expecting mice. So goodbye gluten free bread, and my almond butter rice cake sandwiches (there are still rice cake crumbs stuck to some of my clothes…any suggestions on how to remove these would be greatly appreciated ☺ )

All in all Paris was cool, but I was so cold and the lack of gluten free snacks made eating slightly more difficult. I already get nervous to eat and travel. But I made a few notes and learned a few things for next week, which is my big 2 week vacation that I’m super pumped about!

I finally received my bulletins de salaire (pay stubs) so I could apply for Social Security, the CAF (housing welfare basically). Basically if my applications are successful, my medical visits/prescriptions will all be reimbursed, and I will get checks from the government subsidizing my rent each month. And fortunately it is cumulative, so I will be paid all the way from November. However, I’m not holding my breath, because I have learned not to expect anything quickly in this country.

A plus tard

Settling into the land of goat cheese and crepes

Hello everyone! Welcome back to my exciting life. I apologize for my lack of updates, it seems that once I get out of the habit, there is just too much to write about, and then I get overwhelmed. So I just don’t do it.

Nevertheless, a lot has changed, and my life has finally settled into place, so I fully intend to keep this thing up-to-date.

Let me begin where we left off at the end of October..

Lisa and I ended up leaving our apartment for a lot of reasons. We were given an unbeknownst fourth roommate to live in the salon (who didn’t acknowledge our presence, even when Lisa tried to say “BONJOUR CA VA??? in her face) thus we were left without a living room. And consequently, we could not use our giant balcony. This, added to the fact that we were farther from the centre ville than we would have liked, forced us to go apartment hunting once again. Awesome. Fortunately, our friend Wesley’s host mom knew of a woman looking to sublet a furnished apartment for two. Lisa and I moved in soon after, to find that not only do we have a living room, but also 2 adorable lofts. This apartment is magical (aside from the grime on the floors that we can’t seem to Swiffer out). It is very European looking, (contrary to the previous sterile-style apartment..), I have a normal shower, I can walk to the centre ville, there is civilization around…I feel like I am actually living in France as opposed to Miami. I can now walk to the train station for work (though this doesn’t seem to be helping my case as I have managed to miss my train on numerous occasions.) Some things will never change.

We have traveled a bit on day trips around the south of France, to Carcassone (a medieval fortress city that looks shockingly like a mix of Hogwarts and Minis Tirith) and to Sete, a cute fishing town where our friend Tom teaches. I'm hoping to explore more of France this semester on my days off. You'd think with all my free time I would travel more, but somehow most of my time goes to sleeping and watching TV. Which I think is a very respectable way to spend my time, especially since I have discovered the wonders of Arrested Development and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

In terms of teaching, I’m enjoying it for the most part, but I certainly do not want to make a career out of it. I believe my time teaching abroad is more for the life experience, rather than the job itself. I teach 9 classes in 3 different schools, with children ages 7-11. They have had either no or very little English before, thus my lessons consist of topics such as food, clothing, colors, numbers, animals. I have no doubt that the kids love me, but I have been running into some problems that are clearly a result of my lack of teaching experience and lack of resources. I feel that I am running out of ideas for subjects, and also that I am running out of worksheets. I love giving the kids daily worksheets to make class a bit more interactive, and not to mention, they LOVE coloring. And gluing. Every worksheet they get they really want to glue into their notebooks. Who am I to stop them? “ON LE COLLE MAITRESSE!?????????!!!?” I still feel I could do a better job making class more interesting, and getting all the kids involved. But alas I am still learning and trial-running activities and approaches, so hopefully next semester will get a bit easier. My biggest problem has actually been discipline. Let’s face it. Even in English I am the least assertive person alive. I did not set boundaries when I first came, so if the teachers ever leave the room leaving poor, small American Steph alone with tiny French monster children, I don’t know quite how to handle it. I yelled for the first time in French the week before Christmas, and I think the kids got scared. They freaked out when I said I was going to the get their maitresse. That’s right kids, don’t mess with America….we’re a superpower.

In other news, I somehow managed to find a wonderful French man in the midst of my assimilation into French culture. I met Benjamin at a Halloween party in October (where I was appropriately disguised at Liz Lemon from 30 Rock). I couldn’t be happier; I am a very lucky gal. So despite all the warnings I received from friends and family about sketchy French men, I decided to risk it. And I am so glad I did! Even though when I came home for Christmas my father showed me a clip from the movie “Taken” where two girls are kidnapped in Paris and sold to be sex slaves, I am pretty sure Benjamin does not want to sell me into slavery.

Home was really nice. I again spent most of my time sleeping, watching TV, finishing the Twilight series, seeing my friends, and talking to Benjamin. I felt like I was wasting away myself for the two weeks, but it was quite relaxing and it was so nice to see my friends. I wish I could take them all here with me.

I am currently finishing this blog on the train home from Paris to Montpellier, returning after my Christmas break. I just discovered outlets on TGV trains….thank God. I’m watching The Hangover while enjoying French scenery. That may have been the only highlight of my trip back to France – I believe I just endured the worst travel experience of my life. Not to be dramatic, but seriously. This could be a Lifetime movie.

We start in Boston, early Saturday morning. Even with the falling snow, my first flight to Washington Dulles was on time. I was in the plane all ready to go, and then they encounter some technical difficulties. They send us off the plane into a gigantic line of miffed travelers, most who need to make connecting flights. After 2 hours of waiting with frantic calls to my parents, I eventually land on the next flight to Dulles. I was somehow put in first class, which has now shown me the only way to travel. Squishy seats and sufficient leg room and a great episode of 30 Rock…I am now spoiled. However, this flight ended up being almost 2 hours late to depart, and took a half hour longer than usual because of high winds. And then the doors to the plane wouldn’t open. I kid you not. I ran as fast as I could to my gate to catch my plane to Paris. I almost keeled over hyperventilating. With a big backpack, and my inability to exert myself physically, I didn’t think I was going to survive the run. I made it to the gate, and of course, the plane had just left. They said they waited as long as they could, but not long enough filthy bastards. Now only one flight goes from Dulles to Paris per day, so I missed my chance. They sent me to another gate to check the flight from Dulles to Frankfurt. I waited on standby, calling collect to my parents to update them (because of course my phone died), and fortunately, I got on the plane, along with my wandering luggage. 9 hours later, I arrived in Frankfurt. My next flight to Paris was again, delayed. I got to Paris 3 hours after I am supposed to. I missed my train by like 343485 hours so I asked at the ticket counter what I should do – they said to just bring my ticket on the next train and I would be fine. I am now on the train. And I accidently sat in first class. The ticket men just came by and questioned me….they want me to pay the difference of the tickets, but I only have credit cards, so they have to discuss my situation. They said I could stay in first class though! That explains the outlets. See? I so know how to work my cuteness and innocence to get away with most things. I do feel guilty because last night I reimbursed my ticket online, knowing full well I wouldn’t make my train. I am riding this train for free. I really hope they don’t know this.

I will be in Montpellier in 3 hours, and it will be 9:00 at night. I have to teach tomorrow morning and I have no lesson plan, and I haven’t slept. And I really haven’t eaten a meal. One on plane I told the stewardess of my food allergies, and I received an assorted fruit plate for dinner. That certainly filled me up. But anyways, I’m so excited to get back to my apartment and see everyone!

*UPDATE*

I have been home now for almost two weeks, and I am just so happy to be here. It was so nice to come back to a familiar and comfortable city and home. My schedule and routine has resettled, and I am back to my beloved France, my friends, my Benjamin, goat cheese, crepes, endless nights of watching 30 Rock, sleeping in to obscene hours on my days off (like last Friday, when I didn't even see daylight, and I watched TV in bed with cereal, my favorite guilty pleasure, including MTV's new show containing America's stupidest inhabitants: Jersey Shore). I do work occasionally, honestly. This lifestyle is just making me into an even more loafy, lethargic human being. Which is good, considering I have been constantly anxious and uptight and stressed for my whole life. However I am feeling slightly antsy, and would like more of a purpose in my future. I am feeling the need to be intellectually stimulated.

Fortunately, I have noticed since coming back how much my French has improved. Granted it helps having a French boyfriend who is patiently kind with me and fixes my mistakes. Our conversations consist of primarily Franglais which is a lot of fun, and we both help each other out. And also speaking French in stores and with my students and fellow teachers has been great practice. I of course am by no means fluent, but considering when I first arrived in France I had anxiety saying "Salut," this is a great improvement. Though yesterday at work my teachers were trying to talk to me in English, saying "HELLO" and I didn't respond because I was socially excluding myself like I usually do at lunch, Facebook stalking on the computer, and when I finally responded, they asked me questions in French that I didn't understand. I don't know why I even bothered responding. It's like I have too much pride to admit that have trouble learning this complex language. I do that with Benjamin sometimes, it's like a reflex. I'll say "OUI!" hoping that it's the correct response. Except he knows when I try to respond and don't understand. I'm a terrible liar. I asked them to ask me the questions again, and I realized they asked me to go out to dinner with them next week and I had responded "Non, je ne pense pas." "No I don't think so" without any hesitation. I pretty much made an ass of myself and I am further embarrassed to converse with them.

All in all, I am happy in France, still enjoying postponing the reality of getting my Masters and getting a real job.