"Est-ce qu'on va faire un jeu?"

I’ve been back in France about a month now, and things are pretty much the same. Work, sleep, watch tv….that’s the life.

Work is still getting better every week, as I am beginning to get the hang of organizing lesson plans and how to cater to each grade. I feel my lessons are more successful and the kids are getting more out of them. I’ve learned that flash cards are key, and Simon Says makes me a God.

I’m still having trouble with discipline, however. Teachers aren’t supposed to leave me alone in the classroom while I teach, but I have two classes where the kids are out of control… one where 1 teacher always leaves (CE2, the youngest I have) and a CM2 (5th grade) where the teacher sits in the back and barely chimes in when the kids are causing mayhem, throwing paper airplanes and hitting each other rulers. I know I should have started disciplining from the very beginning, but I didn’t know how first of all, and second of all that’s always been my weakest attribute in leadership roles. Being assertive is so hard for me. I shout “LISTEN” and other such exlamations, I threaten to get the teacher, but nothing works. Some of the kids tell me they have headaches,, they tell on each other….I just end up getting so frustrated and impatient that I dread teaching this class and don’t always get what I want accomplished. The thing is, I know the kids love me still because they get soo excited for English every week and they always get sad when class is over. They’re just young and I didn’t give them boundaries at the beginning.

I constantly having to explain things over and over again, when I explained it clearly the first time. “J’ai pas compris” and “j’arrive pas”…”I don’t understand” and “I can’t do it” are probably the most used phrases in my classes. One time, we went around the class asking the question, “do you like to….dance/sing/eat…etc. I had the question, verb obtions, and each possible response written on the board. Some kids started and did fine, and at least 7 kids just stared at me. Do I need to wipe your asses too kids? I try to be patient, really, but there are times when I just want these kids to stop being stupid. (Note: that was like 92.6 sarcasm)

Not to mention, now that I have generously played hangman, jeopardy, and Simon Says with each class, I constantly get asked to play games. “ESt-ce qu’on va faire un jeu maitresse?” I mean the kids literally will walk up to me while I’m teaching a lesson to ask if we can play a game. I always think, is this really happening? Did you really just walk up to me in the middle of this because you want to play Simon Says? Fortunately the games we play are useful and the kids do learn, but I feel like I’m being used for Simon Says. I want to be respected for who I am dammit. I give and I give and I give only to be used for my awesome game skills. To be fair, I had a great time today playing the number game (I have 2 kids from each side of the class come up to the board and I say a number. They have to write it correctly, and the first to do so wins a point. You’d think it was Christmas they get so excited). When the kids behave and I feel like my lesson was a success, I really don’t mind my job.

Par contre, I think I’m just getting frustrated at the lack of experience I have and the lack of preparation I was given. I’m trying my best to make these kids learn, but I don’t know if I’m being effective. I know this kind of thing just takes time and experience, but I think my teaching would be more worthwhile (for me and the kids) if I knew better how to prepare lessons and how to teach English. I think I would be more inclined to go to work if I first was passionate about what I was doing, but also if I was more confident.

I went to Paris last weekend with my friends, and though it was short we got a crap load accomplished. This was my second time in Paris so I did some of the touristy things again, but fortunately we had a detailed, well-planned itinerary so we were able to fit in a lot of things each day. I think the coolest thing we saw were the Catacombs, which was a long underground tunnel filled with neatly stacked bones and skulls. I think the freezing weather put a slight damper on things and for some reason my body always feels like it’s in a refrigerator, so I wasn’t as keen on walking around the city, which is sad because usually wandering around cities is my favorite thing to do. I tried this when everyone went into the Louvre (once was enough for me…call me uncultured but I really could care less about seeing art museums), so I got all excited to walk around the Latin Quarter on my own. This was nice for about 30 minutes, until the downpour started. One of my best life moments was when we walked to the top of Montmartre to the Sacre Coeur (a lot of steep steps) and we discovered a metro in the form of a pod to take us slowly down to the level ground. Everyone went out that night to drink wine by the Seine and I lamely stayed in bed like an old lady, took my Benadryl, and went to sleep. Who says I don’t know how to party?

I woke up the next morning to discover that mice had infiltrated my backpack to eat my precious gluten free snacks. I mean knowing me I probably didn’t close my backpack all the way, but considering we were staying in one of the top rated hostels in France, I wasn’t really expecting mice. So goodbye gluten free bread, and my almond butter rice cake sandwiches (there are still rice cake crumbs stuck to some of my clothes…any suggestions on how to remove these would be greatly appreciated ☺ )

All in all Paris was cool, but I was so cold and the lack of gluten free snacks made eating slightly more difficult. I already get nervous to eat and travel. But I made a few notes and learned a few things for next week, which is my big 2 week vacation that I’m super pumped about!

I finally received my bulletins de salaire (pay stubs) so I could apply for Social Security, the CAF (housing welfare basically). Basically if my applications are successful, my medical visits/prescriptions will all be reimbursed, and I will get checks from the government subsidizing my rent each month. And fortunately it is cumulative, so I will be paid all the way from November. However, I’m not holding my breath, because I have learned not to expect anything quickly in this country.

A plus tard